Divorce

» lafemmenikita07 - Until Death Do Us Part

STANDING AND VOWING FOR RICHER AND POORER
AND UNTIL DEATH DO US PART

Some people believe marriage is a lifetime commitment to each other and literally means that no matter what happens in your marriage the couple must remain together. The couple of this entry has been married for approximately 14 years.

They stayed together through rough and extremely hard times and some easier times. However, there have been verbal confrontations that have seriously damaged the marriage. In addition, there is a young child involved and neither parent wants to live apart from the child. The husband wants to stay together regardless of whatever has happened because he believes it is God's law not to divorce. He also claims he loves his wife.

The wife day dreams about winning the lotto and/or mega million and having enough money to walk away from the marriage and home with their child and get away from her husband for awhile. However, both incomes are needed to support the household.

The wife is extremely confused. She does not know whether she loves her husband and/or just doesn't like him. She doesn't like him to touch her in any type of intimate fashion nor kiss her. She allows him to massage her aching back and feet; however, if he moves to any other part of the body she stops the massaging.

Getting back to staying together, there are people who list several exceptions as reasons why separations and even divorces under certain circumstances are permissible under God' laws. However, the husband does not believe in any of the reasons. The wife knows about these exceptions; however, she has not violated these laws.
Some couples in this situation have given up and accepted the results that for the rest of their lives this is how the relationship is going to be. In addition, they also believe there are others that believe God will do all he can to help the couple stay together.

In the midst of all this confusion the husband is trying to do what is right in eyes of the Lord despite his wife's lack of desire for him and even lack of love.

Either love is gone or the wife cannot express it anymore? The couple feels something; however, it does not feel like it was at the beginning. Or has the expression of love been allowed to disappear?

So what does the average persons do?

Neither the wife nor husband despite all the problems has been unfaithful to each other. The couple do not realize what they have done to suppress seeking intimacy some place else. However, things have recently changed.

The wife has met somebody that has provided great temptation for her. She told the guy that she is married with a child and does not cheat on her husband. However, the gentleman has not walked completely away. He talks about being friendly towards each other. It is like he senses that something is wrong and is laying low for and opportunity to get her to allow herself to feel intimacy with him and/or plain old fashion sex for physical purposes. Or perhaps he sees the situation like an ultimate challenge. Who will win the game? At first the wife came out boldly making a stand to the gentlemen not to expect anything from her? However, curiosity has consumed her. She knows there will never be anything of value getting involved with the gentlemen. In addition, she does not understand what "being friendly is" as it relates to this gentlemen. She has asked the gentlemen some detailed questions; however, he has not answered them. Every time so far she has gotten frustrated with him and threatens to break off all communication he has apologized in some form or fashion. She has not been bashful with questions. She has been trained in the art of interviewing and interrogation.

What are some of the thoughts that the women has had?

? She feels she would hate herself and not be able to look at herself in the mirror if anything happened between the gentlemen and her other than as friends.
? She fears she will live in guilt for defiance of the oath taken to God if she does not "stand her ground".
? She feels trapped and that she must stay together with her husband and continue to live separate lives and/or drives each other crazy.
? She does not want to be separated from her daughter.
? She does not want to be alone.
? She does not want to re-enter the dating arena.
? She knows her husband will not go to counseling especially with a Pastor because he does not trust them.

If Jesus walked among us right now what would he said to her?

What should the couple do?

-- posted by lafemmenikita07

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