Divorce

» ShamrockMom35 - Not sure how to deal...

My son is 8 and my daughter is 6. Their father and I divorced in 2002 and then I relocated to Maine to be with family. The children have not seen their father since. I met a man in 2003 and after a year of dating, we moved into his house. He seemingly accepted my children as his own. Over the last few years however, my son and him just don't seem to get along very well. Both of them are alike in that they are both stubborn and have been arguing more and more. What I see going on is that my son craves his attention. He wants to do things with him, like go to the park and toss the ball around or something of the like but when he asks my boyfriend most always says no. I decided to talk with my boyfriend and share my point of view. I suggested that perhaps they find an common interest and try to routinely do that together, alone. While my boyfriend was receptive to what I had to say even agreeing with me, here I am a week later typing these very words. Last night everything came to a head. My son asked my boyfriend to take him to the park last night to play ball. He said no. My son reminded him that he'd told him this past weekend, that was something they could do. He said no again, that dinner would be soon. My son asked him why he even offered to take him if he never really planned on it. Needless to say this angered my boyfriend so his reply was,"If you had asked me when you got home I would have said yes."...My son got mad, had a temper tantrum and went in my room. He slunk down between my side of the bed and the wall and cried and cried. I'm afraid that my boyfriend's constant rejection of my son is doing more damage than good. My son is still wetting the bed, will fly off the handle at the drop of a hat and has been having what we think is acid reflux (Dr's appt tomorrow to confirm). What do I do? DO I back off and tell them to work this out? As a mother my heart just aches for my son...and what's weird to me is that he bonded right away with my daughter but not my son. How do I help turn this around for them. I love my boyfriend very much but my son's needs have to be met...are my expectations of my boyfrined too high? Is it possible he can't do for my son what I think he should...HELP!!!

-- posted by ShamrockMom35