People often get confused about love and marriage. They think that the love you feel at the beginning of the relationship should last forever. But it doesn't.
Long after the vows are exchanged and the rice thrown, two people are left to face life together as a team. They have promised to hold their love sacred, forsaking all others. Announcements of staying together for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer have been declared. How is it then that most marriages end in divorce?
I believe that couples tend to focus on the day (wedding) rather than on the commitment (marriage). More preparation goes into the celebration than the union. As a result, when the dust settles and daily life ensues, boredom, frustration and disillusionment set in.
Marriage is hard work. The feeling most identify as “love” or “being in love” is more closely related to “lust”. The passion, the fire, the instant chemistry felt at the beginning of a relationship does not last much longer than the honeymoon. Real “love” is built on trust, daily living, predictability and loyalty. It occurs over time and fully matures as the couple grows together through life’s challenges.
If a relationship is based on the fledgling immature love enjoyed at the onset of a relationship and never matures past that stage the outlook for the marriage is not good. It takes time, dedication, patience and selflessness to nurture a marriage into maturity.
You may not always feel love for your spouse. Do not let that deter you from working on your marriage. Love is not only a “feeling” it is a decision that you make everyday. If you find that you do not feel particularly loving, recall the things you enjoy most about your spouse. What about your husband or wife makes you laugh? What is it that you most enjoy doing together? What is something about them that you cannot live without?
