Stepsibling Relationships
Avoiding Intimate Situations Between Stepsiblings
Parents and stepparents may dread intimate relationships among stepsiblings. Steps can be taken to discourage undesireable behaviors among minors.
Sometimes relationships develop between stepsiblings that would seem to some inappropriate. Although it is impossible to control completely how feelings change and develop between members of the opposite sex, there are some actions parents and stepparents can take to discourage intimate relationships between stepsiblings from occurring.
The trick is to be proactive as parents. As with any lesson parents would like their children to learn it is best to train them before the problem ensues. For example, most parents begin speaking to their children and stepchildren about avoiding drugs long before the children might be tempted to experiment. To do otherwise would be negligent on the part of the adult.
Be aware of your tweens and teenager’s whereabouts and activities IN the house. Parents are accustomed to keeping track of their children away from home. If intimacy between stepsiblings is even remotely a possibility then it is just as important to keep a wary eye open within your home. Are bedrooms accessible? Are there other rooms where privacy is easily attained? Parents should speak openly about their concerns; a lot can be learned by the reactions of the children when the subject is broached.
Limit the amount of time opposite sexed stepsiblings spend alone. There is a delicate balance between encouraging blended family bonding and discouraging intimate relationships from forming. Plan bonding activities to do as a family where mature adults supervise stepsibling interaction.
Situate sleeping arrangements and bathroom facilities in such a way that makes it easy for parents and stepparents to monitor the comings and goings of the household. In the picture “Yours, Mine and Ours” with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda two large families blended into one. Bedrooms and bathroom use was designated with military like precision. Although it may seem extreme to some, assigning specific bedrooms and bathrooms for use by different genders allows for easier monitoring of activity.
Keep in mind that these recommendations are for blended families that have minors living in the same home. If the stepsiblings in question never cohabitate or are consenting adults living outside the home different considerations should be made. Each blended family must consider its unique circumstances when taking decisive action regarding stepsibling relationships. If your family needs help establishing boundaries, bonding appropriately or have any questions regarding blending a family consult a professional family therapist who specializes in stepsibling relationships.
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