The wedding is in the planning stages and all of the key players are notified of their duties; but has all of the preliminary planning to successfully blend two families into one been completed? This worksheet will help identify and address key issues that will inevitably arise as the family adjusts.
• Finances: Will both parties seek employment outside the home, or will someone commit to running the home and raising the children? Who will pay the bills? Will bank personal bank accounts be combined or left separate? Will the children be given an allowance and if so how much? How much income will be budgeted for college, savings and vacations?
• Housing: Will a new home be purchased as a family or will an existing home be used?
• School: Where will the children attend school?
• Custody: Will custody arrangements change after the family blends?
• Sleeping arrangements: Who will sleep with whom? It may be necessary to add onto an existing home or purchase a larger one.
• Vehicles: Will the vehicles owned currently be large enough for the blended family?
• Therapy: Does anyone in the family need extra help healing from past relationships or finding their place in the newly blended family?
• Extended Family: Heal relationships to the best of your ability. Do whatever you can to promote healthy communication between extended family and the newly blended family members.
• Worship: Consider where your blended family will worship and how differences in religious beliefs respected.
• Household Management: Plan housework distribution by allocating equal amounts of work to able blended family members. Develop a chore chart that includes everyone in the newly blended family.
• Discipline: Discuss possible behavior problems and how discipline will be handled.
• Routine: It will help your newly blended family to adjust if you have a routine, at least at the beginning of the transition period.
Although advanced planning helps prepare a family for blending it is impossible to foresee every problem before it arises. Allow for moments of trial and uneasiness as each member of the newly blended family tries to find establish their “place” in the new home. Putting forth the extra effort before the blending actually takes place is helpful but keep in mind that it could take months before everything flows smoothly. Even the closest of families have disagreements every once in awhile and blended families are no exception, but take heart knowing that you did everything you could to make the transition as easy as possible for everyone involved.
Join us in the discussion forum if you have any additional questions or comments.
