The first in a series of articles related to expanding the blended family, this convenient checklist will help you decide if you are ready for a new baby.
A new baby is always a miracle but also a lot of hard work. Planning in advance will help ease the transition and maximize a positive outcome for the blended family. Use the checklist to help determine whether your blended family is ready to add a new member.
Have you bonded? Prior to adding another child to the blended family it is best to establish a firm, positive bond between step parents and step children and step siblings with one another. If bonding has not been successful, adding another child to an already unsettled blended family situation creates additional stress and less opportunity to bond with older children.
Do you have time? As most people know, but conveniently forget, babies take an inordinately huge amount of time to care for. Between the bouts with colic, night feedings and frequent doctor visits there is not enough time left in a day to take a shower let alone help an older child with homework. Before adding a baby to your blended family consider the needs of the other children and your spouse. Do they frequently require more time than you have? Are you scrambling to make time for everyone? How about the household needs? Will you be able to fulfill your responsibilities (housework, yard work, meal preparation, laundry, etc.) effectively with a baby in tow? Do you have enough time to take care of yourself?
Can you afford another child? Babies are very expensive. Even if you have a source for used baby products, they still cost a huge sum of money to feed, cloth, shelter and educate. How is your cash flow and expenses looking now? Do you have a steady windfall of available cash? Are you able to put money aside for college for all of the children? Are you able to afford daycare if you work outside the home? What if the child has special needs and requires one of its parents to stay home, are you ready and able to put your career on hold if necessary?
How do the other members of the blended family feel? Have you spoken openly about the possibility of expanding your family? What were the reactions of the blended family members? Take the responses of the children to heart, they will definitely be affected by the addition of a new baby and deserve to be heard.
Do you have space for another child? If your home is already uncomfortably snug or you have to take two vehicles to every destination because your large family does not fit in a single car, it may not be the best time to add another rider. If you are considering building an addition onto your home, purchasing a new home or car, be sure to refer to the bullet point "Can you afford another child?”
Join us next week for "Expanding My Blended Family: The Unexpected Baby" Also, join us in the discussion forum where comments, questions and suggestions are always welcome!
